Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
