I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
