Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
