My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
nutella sex= disaster
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
