She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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