i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
