It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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