She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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