You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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