R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize