i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
