We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
