I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize