It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There are leaves in my underwear?
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