as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
