Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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