Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we have pet lesbian snakes
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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