i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
