No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh god the rape fog is back!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
