it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
