He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
