We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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