Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
