i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize