Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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