I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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