you guys were way drunker than both of me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
