I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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