Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
