Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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