We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
