Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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