Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
