you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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