I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
