so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Drunk is a universal language darling
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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