How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
