She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
