You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
