Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
