I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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