Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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