I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
