I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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