True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
