Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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