At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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