Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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