I must be too annoying 4 u.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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