My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
