Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
