It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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