OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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