So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
