I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
