He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
