How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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