I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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