Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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