six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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