I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize