Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I forget how to act sober
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
