Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
