i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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