I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
