smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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