Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
