She is in my trunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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